Confessions from the Bathroom

Confession time. I want to know what your guilty pleasures are that you use to pamper yourself. While I have a zero-tolerance policy for floaty bits in my bath, I adore adding simple, luxurious things that dissolve into my bath. This is how I melt away stress and nourish myself. It’s mine. It’s quiet. It’s the equivalent of the desperate dark shower for the stressed-out-I-want-to-evaporate-feraminnit-parent.

Total transparency, I make this for my boys as well cuz they love it too. When they grow up and have girlfriends I will completely deny this, but they do. I buy a huge bag of this dead sea salt, and then I ‘flavor’ it myself with essential oils. Whatever I fancy. My current batch has muscle soothing and night time sleeping oils. I keep it right next to my bathtub in one of my favorite Fido Jars. This one is the perfect size for me! I just use a little scooper that came out of something else; a protein powder of some sort I think. This salt even has little ‘impurities’ which are concentrated minerals. The boys covet those little ‘rocks’ as if it’s the fleck of gold they panned for themselves in the tub. They hold it up proudly and announce to the rest of the house, “I got one!” I add 1/2 – 1 c. of the salt. I add a few drops of the oil that I want too…

To this salt and oil, I add about a cup of dry milk powder, because what queen wouldn’t love a milk bath? From the first time I learned about Cleopatra and Queen Elizabeth taking milk baths, I was hooked. YYYaaaassssss!!! But while Cleo’s bath was drawn with donkey’s milk, I’ll pass on that for regular ol’ cow’s milk. Because ewe.

When I’m feeling particularly wrecked, I add about 1/2 cup of Bentonite Clay and Apple Cider Vinegar. They help draw out impurities and help your body detox from all of the yuck in the world. Whether it truly works or not, I believe that it does, and so for me… it does. See my logic, people? The mind and soul are amazing forces to be reckoned with. But in all seriousness, clay’s history goes way back, and is even referenced in the Bible. That’s enough proof for me.

I sink into this guilty bath like a fat girl digs into a full-sized cheesecake that nobody else knows about while she’s home alone. All the bites ya’ll. The hot and glorious nectar of nourishment envelopes me, and the tense aches in my neck and shoulders just release. My skin seems to exhale while soaking in the goodness. The world is right; for just a little while, it’s right. Nothing else matters right now. This is the finish line to my taxing day. When all my woes have evaporated, I slide into my always welcoming bed and drift into sweet sweet dreams until the rude reboot in the morning. 

This is one of my guilty pleasures. I want to know all about yours. What’s your number 1 guilty pleasure?

 

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